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Have A Nice Day
The Scrum Master
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Featuring:
- RFK Jr
- Bernie Sanders
- Our local imam
Episode Minutes:
- Be yourself
- America's a business pimpin
- Cereal
Childhood, Football, Leadership, and Corporate America
Speaker 1Three , two , one Ah .
Speaker 2Okay , perfect , cool . When you were a kid , when you finished a bowl of cereal , did your parents make you finish your milk . You had to drink your milk .
Speaker 1You always have to drink your milk . But also , I don't remember them telling me that I needed to do anything , especially when it came to finishing food , because I was a portly little lad if you put , you mean you're a fat little bitch , I was a portly you mean you were a red .
Speaker 2You were a red-faced fat little dough boy is honestly , I was not like that fat .
Speaker 1I was like just like a pretty big kid . Um , you played off . It's a line of pop order yeah , exactly left tackle . I was one of the best left tackles in the state . Genuinely , I started getting recruited at like fourth grade to play left tackle . I played for the middle school team . No bullshit , I was the starting left tackle for the middle school team in fifth grade . So just fucking , absolutely stacking up eighth graders .
Speaker 2I would have ran right through your dumb face mask , I bet you had a bad face mask too . No , I had a sick fucking face mask .
Speaker 1I had one of those ones that was like a normal face mask and then there was , like you know how there's like Kind of like an extra bar , like that old school Mike Allstott one .
Speaker 2Yeah , a dumb face mask which was like my dad . That's a cool one .
Speaker 1I was putting my fucking face in people's chest .
Speaker 2I was like my fucking face in people's chest . I was like the only person Les is kind of more with face masks .
Speaker 1I was a cheap one too . I was one of those mean left tacklers . I'd fucking get up in your knees .
Speaker 2Well , if a non-mean offensive lineman is like , it's kind of missing the entire point . Yeah .
Speaker 1I actually feel like I really lost a lot from football when I stopped playing a physical position . Yeah , even when you stopped playing football , right yeah , when I stopped playing football and started playing quarterback , because , like , genuinely like , I did get a lot of rage out and then there was no place for the rage anymore .
Speaker 2Yeah , it sucks . Imagine doing that for 20-something years and then you can't do it anymore . You got to , you had like it's kind of like , you got like a nice transition out , because like quarterback is kind of like it gets you ready for like a like corporate america a little bit in a way yeah , well , I still use it a lot of the stuff like defense . Defense does not in any way help you out in corporate america .
Speaker 1No , no , I , I can see people in my life like that , I in my company , that are bad leaders , and I'm like I , I like how do I ? I know how to be a better leader than you ? And you're , you're in charge of me , you're an idiot , you know , but they , they don't know how to lead because they're they've like they've never , they've never been a leader before , right , like it's like a kid who was kind of a nerd and , like you know , probably had like a couple friends in middle school . You know it was never like the center of attention and they got like an accounting degree and then they worked their way up through accounting and became like a controller and then , after they became a controller , like eventually became a cfo and now they're in charge of like an entire silo and they're like talking to you , like they're , you know this is supposed to be the charismatic leader . And you're like are you fucking out of your mind ?
Speaker 2yeah , well , that's like the tenure thing . It's like tenure versus well , like most leaders are just like I've been here long enough , right , right , yeah , yeah , I , uh , or like , have you ever had a scrum ? Well , I guess you're not really like in like development outside of your , have I ?
Speaker 1had scrum . But like , have you ever had ? They call me the scrum master .
Speaker 4Yeah .
Speaker 2Have you ever had a scrum master who , like doesn't know any of like because I've worked on like a couple agile teams and stuff where , like there's no , they have no technical ability , but they're in charge of like getting everything done , so they have to ? You go through this process where , like , you give a number for how long you think things will take in , like the project plan , and you're just going through like giving this guy , who doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about , an estimate of how long each task is going to take . It's the most like contrived weird thing . It's like your job shouldn't exist I'll be honest
City Monetization and Sex Clubs
Speaker 2, I stopped .
Speaker 1I stopped paying attention as soon as we started saying scrum master , because I started thinking about like a guy who shows up to a job interview and doesn't know what a scrum master is , like like pov you , you don't have any it experience but you're willing to learn . And then the guy's like uh , he's like there to like interview for scrum master position and the guy like looks at him and he's like uh , so what interested you about the ? Job posting so do you do you want to start , or should I ? And ?
Speaker 3then the guy interviewing him .
Speaker 2And he just gets a happy baby in the office chair .
Speaker 1slowly , the guy interviewing him is like yeah , you can go ahead . And the guy just gets up and starts unbuckling his pants and he's like whoa , what are you doing ?
Speaker 3And ?
Speaker 1he's like you said . Okay , I thought that that was a weird thing to post on LinkedIn . Okay , okay .
Speaker 4Who's going to eat my scrum ? Who's ?
Speaker 1going to eat the scrum master and decided that that wasn't going to be taken the wrong way .
Speaker 2The same guy who has no idea what the jobs actually do and is somehow in charge of getting them done . Oh man .
Speaker 1I genuinely thank God I don't work for a real company , because if I worked for a real company and somebody said I'm the scrum master , I'd be like I bet you are .
Speaker 2Dude , it's so gay , so much of it is like they somehow brought HR into it . That's what it feels like whenever you deal with those kinds of teams .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's like I'm the scrum master and I'm the shaft polisher . Well , if you're the scrum master . I'm the caboose of the train on the team everyone kind of like looks around like why is this so weirdly sexual ? Why is this guy ?
Speaker 2here , he's just like what's your , what's your ?
Speaker 1position and the guy's like I'm scrum master , he's like what's yours ? He's like I'm a top every scrum call every zoom call .
Speaker 2It's just like it starts with like everyone's face coming online off camera and it's just an asshole where his is just a just a perfect .
Speaker 1We should really do lush . We should do it themed orgies . You could have a scrum , call you got your tight audience boy dude . No , okay , so I was reading this article in the atlantic . It made me laugh so fucking hard . Dude , listen to how stupid this was . Um , it was someone basically like uh , sex clubs are becoming really popular throughout the united states , and like , especially like in la . Well , I'll let you guess which cities you think they're becoming popular in la new york , chicago , all the liberal run cities .
Speaker 1I would imagine yeah , yeah and in dc and so uh , well , okay , you don't have to say liberal , run cities , every city's liberal . But uh , they fucking are doing not mine , yeah , I don't know well yours .
Speaker 2They don't speak enough english to be like liberal or we hate communism so much down here because everyone hates fidel . So and he left this policy . They're all like bro , just get the fuck out of our house , dog .
Speaker 1That's kind of funny . Miami is a fucking wild place , dude , Just like that . There is a part of the country that is just Cuba .
Speaker 2I mean it is so foreign down there when you don't speak .
Speaker 1Spanish people kind of look at you like what the fuck ?
Speaker 2Yeah , 100% . They've started to do this thing , though where , like , I've only noticed it in our city , in this city , because , like the other cities I go to , I guess it hasn't caught on yet , but they've like hit this new level of monetization on stuff when , like , so like All regular parking from when I was a kid , let's say the malls .
Speaker 1Oh , yeah , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 2All that parking is now valet for valet and then beyond that .
Speaker 1Or they have a camera that takes a picture of your license plate when you pull in .
Speaker 2And the closest parking after that's called up front parking and you have to pay an up charge to park there and then just for the free basic bitch parking .
Speaker 1You're parking like they're trying to price people out of cities is what they're doing they're trying to price people out of cities and so that every city will just be like mega rich , like chinese investment that every city will just be like mega rich , like chinese investment opportunity land and and then , like crazy poor well , the people that then buy those apartments that they've priced everyone out , like those people don't actually live in the city .
Speaker 1So by the end of it , it's just like a thousand billionaires who , empty rooms , go down to miami but then , like the next day , they're in new york . So then the city will just be empty for , like you know , until they come back , because by the end of it , no , one's going to be able to live in any of those fucking houses , dude .
Speaker 2I mean you're paying like two grand to live in like a fucking chronicles of narnia wardrobe my wife was telling me that she wrote it's impossible not to say my wife , like that in my life that that black rock is selling off all the residential homes they bought because they like over leveraged themselves .
Speaker 1Thank god or whatever god , you gotta love that . Yeah , hopefully that crushes the market and brings it back down . I love that is one thing . When everyone's like , uh , like anytime someone believes in conspiracies , I'm like dude . The most powerful company in the world , blackrock , is retarded .
Speaker 2Bought all the houses .
Speaker 4Yeah , is retarded .
Speaker 1Like they bought all the houses and they were like what could possibly go wrong ? And then all of a sudden , no one could afford the houses that they bought and the rent they were charging and they're like oh fuck dude . And then they did a line of coke and they're like we're going to sell them dude .
Speaker 2And everyone's like there's like there's a conspiracy , it's like yeah right dude , this country is filled with coke binged retards like I mean . That is all . So much of it is coke binged retard because if you think about like most people , they don't I feel like most people never actually interface with like a dude that works for black rock or blackstone or like state street one of these huge investment venture capitalist companies yeah , I have , I have a couple of them in my family and they're not .
Speaker 1They're not bright , they're people like they're some of the least capable people everyone's talking about these like , uh , these like mit bill algorithms that do all of their investing . It's like no one guy at the company built that . And then the rest of the guys like look at the output that it produces and then be like okay , so like you know what that means . And then they call I'm gonna make a call yeah , yeah , I mean it's .
Speaker 2It's crazy that silicon valley and Wall Street are like , they're like almost like the Vatican . They're like a separate state within the US that , like , has its own set of rules and , you know , just does like . I guarantee they're fucking ripping lines in the Vatican too . I mean it's like there's no .
Speaker 1You're like , why wouldn't I do coke ?
Speaker 2yeah why wouldn't I just be fucking high on cocaine ?
Speaker 1I want to get high on cocaine and I'm gonna just try to tickle a young boy , chase him around and say tickle , tickle , the pope is coming . The pope is coming and then it's just like you imagine they just like release the boys out of like a pen and then the pope like puts his hat on backwards and starts chasing him . He's like come on his fish hat yeah african , his african uh theology inspired fish
Speaker 1oh man , that guy fucking pisses me off , but anyways , um . So , speaking of the different rules , those sex parties , um , they're doing these sex parties in all of like the biggest cities in america . Um , not sex parties , sex clubs are becoming really popular and like you can go sure and like it , like the main thing is like they'll have like performers and stuff and the performers will like there's one in dc . I haven't gone um , but I had a .
Speaker 1I had a buddy who invited me to one and I was like I mean , yeah , I guess that'd be like funny to at , I guess , I think , and then afterwards , I was talking to the lady and she was like that guy wants to fuck you . What are you talking about ? 100% , oh , okay .
Speaker 2Shit , I thought we were just buddies . If a man invites you to a fucking sex club , if a is like really adamant about just you and him going to a strip club , it's like what's ? Uh , what's up , dude , yeah .
Speaker 1but he pitched it like it's funny , dude , it's crazy what you see in there . It'd be good , it'd be funny for your act . And I was like , yeah , all right , hilarious . And then you're about to get roofied , oh man I gotta hit him up anyways . Sex clubs and the sex parties . It's very charming to have a sex party in a sex club , but um they were having like one of the bylines in the article .
Speaker 1So I get through the whole article and at the very end it's like and uh , so they're having a lot of trouble with uh , with consent , um , and it turns out that and then they go through , like the , the personal lives of the founders and like all of the founders have been like you know they're . They're sitting there talking about , like we need equality in sex , we need equity in sex and it's so important to explore our bodies and it's so important that we all just like get along , and the best way to get along is through , you know , open and honest sexual communication with our genitals . And then , like every single one of the people who founded the clubs are like convicted sex offenders . Like like one of the guys had like helped his ex-girlfriend uh , somebody ghosted her and so him and like two of his friends like kidnapped the guy and then the ex-girlfriend branded him and then he went to jail for like three years for that and then like his first real job after that was like to be the head of a sex club .
Speaker 1It's like , yeah , dude , people get tricked by these idiots so easily . It's because they want to be as soon as they start talking about like openness and like equity and inclusion . It's like the brain shuts down and they're like , yeah , this is a good person and it's clearly a wolf in sheep's clothing . It's always a rapist . It's always a rapist , it's never not why , can't they see that ?
Speaker 2I don't know or like feel it I . It's like you can feel it more than see it , even it's like you can yeah people are people are , so not easy to read , but like there is a , there is like a version of this language and like the like , the vibe of people , the body language they have , like even how they dress and look like how do you not ? I don't know all your red flags not going off .
Speaker 1Yeah , I think I think it's very much a gen z thing , because I notice it the most with young people , and I think the problem is I think they grew up so much online that they never they never evolved that muscle . They don't have like an emotional like what's the iq ? And then they have an eq which is like your emotional yeah , which doesn't have like an emotional like what's the iq ? And then they have an eq which is like your emotional , yeah , which doesn't make sense yeah , emotional intelligence translates to eq intelligence .
Speaker 2Quote yeah , why not ?
Speaker 1what does eq stand for ? Emotional ?
Speaker 2emotional that doesn't make sense how does that not make sense ? What is your quotient emotional ?
Speaker 1uh , that felt a lot like who's on first , who's on second . I'm not going to get into that . We're not going to keep going up and down the eq rabbit at all .
Speaker 2It's a stupid way to describe it so that feels like a very freudian thing but like yeah but emotional , emotional intelligence is a thing it's just like perceiving , reading , interpreting emotions from others without having them to be explained right right , I mean 100 .
Speaker 1Emotional intelligence is a thing . I just don't understand how they came to that acronym and I'm not going to get into . That feels a lot like scrum . It's like I don't know who came up with that , but that's a bad call , the weird thing about emotional , though , is like I feel like you don't need that much .
Speaker 2You don't need , like you don't need to be an emotional intelligence like savant , but like if you have none , I mean that's just autism really . But like if you're non-autistic and you have zero emotional intelligence , just I feel like people , as you age , will just move away from you because you're like , no matter how smart you are , you can't be like asked anything in the real world .
Speaker 1It wears people down like eq is too low , where you just like always say the honest thing and people slowly just are like like that's the noise they make when you come into a room . They're just like here here , we can't do this right now . Yeah , that's sad . That's sad that that happens to people . I I that probably happened to us . I feel it happening to me all the time all the time people .
Speaker 2I feel it about us and I have such , I have , I have such a problem that instead of me being like I should really work on myself . Instead of that , I just go fuck that person and I , I , fucking . I move on to to the next thing in my life .
Speaker 1Yeah , just burn it down . Yeah yeah , it's a really , really shitty quality . I'm glad you have it .
Speaker 2Well , I mean , I just I think like there's enough things to solve and get into and figure out and like enjoy learning to where like I'm not going to . Why would you waste time learning to where like I'm not going to ? Why would you waste time trying to like create this like emotional jigsaw that allows us to feel comfortable around each other with , with people that you know that you don't even really get along with ?
Speaker 1It's not like I'm doing it and like the person that I'm making all of these , I'm jumping through the loop and jumping through all of these hoops for , but at the end of the day , the person is like fucking really , really really like dude I'm like friends with , like fucking . You know , I don't know who like who I think would be cool is like stevie ray vaughn . Who you think would be cool ? It's like I guess for you that would be like herman gerbils but it's like okay
Speaker 1dude it's like you know , like at the like , the only person , like here's the thing is , the only person that guys do that for and we've had this conversation before is we already have to do this for women . You know what I mean . Like we have to do all of this like hoop jumping through for women . So then when a guy starts doing it to you , you just like turn to them and you're like dude , I don't even get to fuck you , so like what what do you think this is ?
Speaker 2there's no pay . The payoff is like we just get to sit in a comfortable space . It's like I'd rather be right .
Speaker 1I'd rather you be uncomfortable , right exactly I'd rather and you know what , you know what , you know what I get a sick little joy out of being uncomfortable . I enjoy it a little bit . You know what I mean . You know what I mean
Finding Identity Through Music and Fatherhood
Speaker 1.
Speaker 2And don't say that my Stevie Ray Vaughan is Herman Goebbels . I mean , that is fucking crazy . First of all , stevie Ray Vaughan is like Stevie Ray Vaughan , I think for I was saying this to you earlier , I think , for young white kids that have a dad , I mean .
Speaker 1Starting to sound a lot like Herman Goebbels . I can see , I see .
Speaker 2Nine nine , nine , nine , nine Continue . Stevie Ray Vaughan is like one of the first guys that your dad , as a young white kid , will show you where you're like , oh fuck , dad's cool as shit .
Speaker 2Like this guy is so fucking cool and dad fucking likes this guy . Like dad is cool , like I remember making that connection as a kid and then it taking me years and years Cause like , yeah , also , if you're like I think a young boy , really a young boy or girl , a real path to becoming your own person is going off on this quest where you find your own music yourself .
Speaker 1Yeah , I genuinely don't remember . It was funny that you said it because , like I think , the first person that I remember of my dad liking music and being like my dad likes this guy was like Stevie Ray Vaughan , Because I remember I got into Jimi Hendrix and my dad goes , OK , you check this guy out , you like . Jimi Hendrix now , because like my brother was listening to like kid rock and like my brother loved like country music . I mean he loved rock .
Speaker 2Well , your brother's older , he had already aged out .
Speaker 1He had aged out exactly he was on like the other side of it and so like I was like I was like , yeah , I kind of like that , but like also , you know , I I didn't get , like he had already done his acdc phase . So then like , as I'm doing the acdc phase , then you hit jimmy hendrix and then your dad pulls you to the side and he's like you like Jimi Hendrix , dude , watch this shit .
Speaker 2Yeah , but I remember going on that quest to find my own music and it taking years and years before I found something that was cooler than Stevie Ray Vaughan . And then you go into that phase that your brother was in and you were just talking about where he's , you know he's listening to like mega death or whatever . And then like yeah , you listen , you're listening to that music and you're like this is way cooler than c ray vaughn . And then , like you grow up and you like are an adult now , and then you come full circle and you're like fuck , dad was so right about this .
Speaker 1Like like this guy's way cooler . I never needed to leave the village . It's's very Jordan Peterson .
Speaker 4It sucks , man the thing about being a young man is you've got to go out . You've got to go out there and fight the dragon that is Kid Rock . You've got to go out and be like bow-diddy-bow-diddy-bang-da-dang-diggity-diggity . And then you come back to the village after you did your bow and your dang diggity and you come back and you say , wow , there was no point in leaving .
Speaker 2Stevie ray vaughn was here the whole time it sucks because like that you ever seen that quote where like your dad is the only man in your life that wants you to do better than him not my dad .
Speaker 1My dad fucking tried to fight me all the time . No , I'm kidding , I'm kidding , yeah , but like .
Speaker 2It's true , so like when you have all that , when you have all that animosity , when you're like 15 towards like the only thing on earth that wants to save you , it sucks because that and then that's crazy is looking at you like do you know how much I like you ?
Speaker 1What are you talking about ?
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah . Why are you making this so hard ? Yeah ?
Speaker 1Yeah , dude , my brother's going through it with his nephew right now and I'm watching it and I just keep trying to like talk to him about it .
Speaker 2With your nephew , my nephew he's going through it with his son . He's raising your kid , yeah , maybe .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , maybe , yeah , I said it wrong , but like jesus , but uh , no , I would have been 10 and that would have been crazy . Uh , I mean , I don't even think I could make real glue at that point . Don't call it real glue .
Speaker 2I got real glue . I didn't even have elmers yet it came out .
Speaker 1it came out looking like Loctite . It looked clear it didn't have any milk to it yet . But , yeah , I'm watching him go through it right now and he literally hates my nephew right now I mean hates him and is like this is the worst person ever . And I'm like dude , I keep trying to remind him , I'm like he's gonna come back around .
Speaker 2they come back around , you know yeah , you can't , you can't abandon them . 16 through 24 , they're just such a prick , yep , but , but in a lot of ways , the only way that the dad can end up liking that person again , which is what I feel like , dad's miss is being one now , and having done that to my father , the kid has to that 16 to 24 , they have to do that for them to come to the realization themselves so that you can like them again ? Yeah , because otherwise they're . There's just nothing to them , right ?
Speaker 1they're like yeah , yeah , because otherwise they just become like a shadow of you , because they never left . It's like , it's exactly it's like plato's , the cave is like they didn't leave the cave . So the only thing they know about the real world is the shadow that you are , which is why you need a dad who casts like a big , a big shadow , because then you want to get out from under it . You want to , like go , do your own thing , be your own person , like get bring some value to the table that he doesn't yeah go like I'm gonna go fucking far from home , we're gonna live somewhere weird , you know .
Speaker 1And then you kind of come back and you're like all right , well , I formed my own experiences and you guys didn't have the same experiences , but you kind of because they're your dad and they raised you you kind of came to the same conclusions about those experiences .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's cool . It's a fucking super cool experience .
Speaker 1I was just getting to that point with my dad and then he died . So thank you for bringing this up .
Speaker 2Okay , dude , you know that's not fair .
Speaker 1We were just coming out on the other tunnel .
Speaker 2Oh yeah , life's not fair , jake , my dad's dead , if we were , if ? We weren't as good of friends , you know . Yeah , I would feel the need to tiptoe around these kinds of conversations but the fact that I know to people that that you're just like waiting behind a door with a frying pan to be like my dad's dead .
Speaker 1Isn't that sick ? Isn't that a sick person to be ? It's so obnoxious .
Speaker 2Like I feel like other people if they heard us talk about it would be like , oh , you're being so mean to him and my response would be fuck that guy .
Speaker 1Fuck that guy and his dead dad . He did that on purpose . He walked us all the way down here to do that to me , yeah , yeah this isn't even about him fucking insane dude . Sorry , I mean oh shit , most people most people don't understand that .
Speaker 2Like that was like the one time where I I remember this shit was so funny . I I was back in the day when when before mad and I got married and we're like thinking about getting married and you met madison's twin sister . You'd be like , oh she's so fucking hot , but your wife's fucking disgusting and they're identical twins . Yeah , yeah , yeah , that's a great and I remember thinking that was so fucking funny at the time and just because remember you trying to explain that at your wedding at your wedding to like a group of 10 people and they all looked at me like I had a thousand heads .
Speaker 1They looked at me like I had just pulled my cock out .
Speaker 2I had tried to explain that to different people , probably three times and like always anticipating them to laugh , and they would always look at me like that guy's a fucking asshole . You're friends with that guy and I would be like no , it's hilarious , they're identical . Now why would that make any sense ? And they're like no , dude , he's . He's calling your wife ugly . It's like you're what it's like . It's the same thing , it's the same thing as the dead .
Speaker 1That clip about us saying that all black guys are gay because they have big dicks in the locker room it's the same thing it's like if somebody hears that and they're like that's true , he means that you're like what wait , hold on like now it's become about you . This is something you gotta figure out yeah , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 2It's crazy how people will expose themselves by the way that they react to like either a joke or like a fictional story . You tell if they like , act like super appalled by something like that and you're like , okay , all right . Well , are you like a fierce racist in the privacy of your own home ?
Speaker 2because I don't understand why this is making you so uncomfortable yeah , yeah like like when a black person is coming over , do you like like wash everything really , really hard when they leave , like yeah , yeah , yeah , you fucking psychopath , you put out like different furniture .
Speaker 4Yeah , like what the fuck is wrong ?
Speaker 1we gotta cover the furniture with like fucking plastic , that seems like something that like rfk would do like rfk jr like that's what he strikes me as is a guy who , like out loud , will be like he's acting like rfk , won't say shit where you're like , okay , out loud , like nom , he's saying he cares about black people .
Speaker 1And then like you're like , wait , hold on , say that back one more time . And he's like well , basically , I just feel like . I just feel like black people shouldn't have to get vaccinated because genetically , the vaccines don't work on them .
Speaker 3You're like whoa , You're like what did you just say ?
Speaker 1And he's like no , no , their immune systems are really strong and they're faster than ours . Their immune systems are actually way faster than ours , do they react faster , and their immune systems can jump higher than ours can . Did you see the ?
Speaker 2hearing , and you're the hearing . What the ? Fuck , did you just say did you see the hearing when he got sworn in ? Yeah , and they're like , they quote things from his book and , like you know , rfk was writing that book . Yeah , and it was like no one's ever it's like 80 80 facts and research , and then the 20 . That isn't . It's like let's spice up this fucking chapter .
Speaker 1Yeah , every now and then it'll be like . It'll be like a strong proportion of hispanic men actually have two penises and they're like quoting that at him out of the book .
Speaker 2And they're like did you write this in your book ? And he's like well the editors had a lot of free reign to do whatever they needed to do to make the book .
Speaker 3They're like dude , dude dude , they cut it . It's Bernie Sanders reading the book back to him . He's like Mr Kennedy . Did you say that at one point you took a whale's head into Central Park and put it out on the sidewalk so that Dominican people could come by and use it as a pinata ?
Speaker 4And RFK .
Speaker 1Jr is like . That's not exactly how I meant it .
Speaker 2When Bernie's grilling RFK in the Senate hearing to get him sworn in or whatever to get him sworn in , or whatever RFK's like Bernie you took more money from the pharmaceutical industry than any other candidate in the race . And Bernie's response ? He goes oh no , no , no , no no , no , no , no .
Speaker 3He's like Don't start with me , Mr Kennedy , that is not true .
Speaker 1He just screams no , no , no at him adam don't start that with me , mr kennedy he kind of like there's something about his accent that almost makes him sound like a little bit british like yeah , yeah , yeah , it's vermont . It's because that northeast shit is like not , yeah , like barely america jewish jewish brooklyn combined with vermont and it's come out to a very funny thing . That that's the new thing is like now I mean just every now and then .
Political Discourse and Gender Dynamics
Speaker 2I'm sorry for making that noise . I didn't mean to make that noise what noise did you make ? Nothing , I didn't hear any noise .
Speaker 1No , your phone . The phone cut out . So it's going to be in the recording , but I'm not going to be able to . So what is it ? I went , I , I ugh , oh , oh , oh , because of the thing with the thing , and they do this and you're like , oh my God , anyways .
Speaker 2Well , he doesn't have that . He has like a . It comes from deeper down .
Speaker 1It comes from deeper down , but he still talks in the same cadence that they talk in .
Speaker 3He's just got this other voice that he's put on top of it .
Speaker 1He honestly sounds like a Barnum and Bailey's Jew . It's like an old school circus , like head of a Jewish circus . It's like and for the third act I'm going to bring out the traveling salesman .
Speaker 3Look at how he balances the vacuum cleaners on his nose on his schnitzel .
Speaker 1I don't know why I have to put so many vacuums on my nose . It's really hard to balance all of these I wonder what .
Speaker 2I wonder what the country would have been like , uh , had he won had bernie like yeah , like in 2016 or whatever , when when he was supposed to beat hillary and they killed everybody that worked on his campaign literally or like mark .
Speaker 1Mark rich was like leaked like a , like an email where he was like you know , hillary clinton , like fucking got everybody killed in jabuti and then like somebody and then he got like brutally murdered and he was like shot dead in his front yard .
Speaker 1Shot dead in his front yard , shot dead in his front yard and like his wife was hit over the head with a wrench or some shit . And then everyone was like , wait , what happened ? And they were like , yeah , robbery . And they were like they left his phone and wallet and he goes . They took something .
Speaker 2And this is like the same week he said all this stuff and then they're like yeah well , hillary wins the dnc , we're moving on , time to move on . Anyways , trump's a fascist . It's so weird that the left like with female candidates , because I think , like if you got a cool chick , if you got tulsi gabbard , like it would be such a blowout win because she gets all the women votes by default . And then if you even get 10 , 20 percent of the men guys , want to like women .
Speaker 1That's the problem .
Speaker 4Yeah , like it's the problem with the dnc's entire pitch is that they've picked go ahead back to back women .
Speaker 2They pick back to back women , that even women hate they picked .
Speaker 1Okay , because here's the problem . This is the problem with the dnc , this is the problem with the Rainbow Coalition . It's because the DNC is ran by women and there is no one that hates women more than women . Women hate women . Men don't hate women . Everybody keeps talking about this misogynist culture . It's not men who hate women , it's women who hate women . Misogynist culture . It's not men who hate women , it's women who hate women . So women elected or wanted to be represented by two bitches they knew couldn't win .
Speaker 1They knew that those two women drove everyone fucking insane yeah , like they knew in their gut , like maybe they don't say it out loud and maybe it's not even in the second layer of their brain , but deep down in their fucking bellies . If you could get a woman to be honest , they'd look you in the eye and be like I fucking hated that bitch . I should be president . And you're like . You aren't even running for office , but every woman secretly thinks that they should be president with with hillary too .
Speaker 2I think that it's like uh , how many women that the man cheats on them and then they stay with the man in their marriage . How many women honestly respect that ? I know , guys , if a guy's wife cheats on him and he stays with his wife and all his buddies find out , your bros are never going to respect you the same . Maybe they won't tell that to your face , but , like there , there will always be like a sense of uh , you're , you're a doormat , bubba , and like uh , women , I feel like . I feel like it's kind of the same thing , like , so the fact that they would , I don't know , it's like the guy was getting sucked off in the same desk that you're gonna supposedly fucking take over at and he was like come on , what are we doing ?
Speaker 1yeah , that is crazy .
Speaker 2You guys think about this a little like that's deep and dark .
Speaker 1Come on , hillary , I'm not saying that I don't love you , I'm just saying you know , sometimes I get behind that big desk .
Speaker 2But a wet mouth is a wet mouth .
Speaker 1I just get sitting beside that wet desk and I just start thinking , baby , why don't you turn that burger sideways for me ? That was the grossest thing you've ever said to me .
Speaker 4Make your burger sideways .
Speaker 1Why don't you turn that burger , Monica Monica ?
Speaker 2Take your burger and make it sideways . Monica , get in here .
Controversial Discussions on Morality
Speaker 1I don't know if you know this , but my wife Hillary is underneath her heat lamp right now because she's got to get her blood to room temperature . She's a lizard , yeah , because otherwise she'll go into automatic hibernation . So I've got Hillary outside sun tanning on the rocks in the garden . Could you imagine ?
Speaker 4She took her human skin off .
Speaker 1So why don't you just come on over to my office ? She's going to be at least an hour underneath the heat lamps .
Speaker 2You get invited to the Clinton house and you go down to the basement and it's just a giant terrarium and Hillary's on the wall . Kill it , Kill it , Kill it with fire . Get me out of here .
Speaker 1Holy shit , dude . And Bill's just like come on , she's a crazy bitch .
Speaker 2Bill looks like a dementor grabbed him by the cheeks and just sucked as much of his soul as they could .
Speaker 1I mean , God damn it he . Sorry Lord , but he is 80 years old , Like he's 80 . So it's supposed to look like . You know , I mean that is the problem with this country ? Is that like like but OK , I was talking about this this weekend like the , the before there was ever a transgender movement , like we were doing Botox and injecting hormones into our faces ? How is that not trans-ageism ? This country is all about being something you're not .
Speaker 2It's like identifying as a 25-year-old .
Speaker 1We're so obsessed with being young . We put fucking shit in our face . We got boner pill commercials for 80-year-olds 80-year-old men trying to get hard . Man Guys who are 80 trying to get hard . To do what ? To fuck a 65-year-old ? Ew , ew . You don't need to anymore . She's 65 . She doesn't want to get fucked , she needs to die . And you're over here . Like , biologically speaking , you're supposed to be a grandparent at 34 . You know what I mean ? Like you're in your grandpa phase at 32 .
Speaker 2That's why you start like being like really like this is getting a little Muslim for me , but I think no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no .
Speaker 1Biologically yes , maybe Biologically .
Speaker 2Let's push it back a little , though , maybe like 42 , not 32 .
Speaker 1As a man Women , obviously you can't have sex with them until they're at least nine years old . Don't . Let's not the . Hadith says that they must be nine years old .
Speaker 2When the Muslim scholars have to defend like once she has puberty , yes , you can fuck her , it's like the hadith clearly states and the people like debating them are like jesus christ . What is wrong with ?
Speaker 1you yeah , and then it's just like a white liberal woman going yes , yeah , it's their culture . We can't stand up against their culture , I know .
Speaker 3The Hadith clearly states as soon as she can go la la la , la , la , la , la la then she is ripe like fruit of the date tree .
Speaker 2It's so weird that the book thing like how morality can't evolve and morality only comes from this text that was given . That's why .
Speaker 1That's why the fucking protestants are so stupid is because they're like the book has to stay the same . It's like no dude . You needed yeah , you needed a group of people to interpret the book and now you goofy bastards fucking think that the world's 10 000 years old .
Speaker 2You , fucking morons that's gotta be the dumbest thing to interpret the book . The earth being 10 000 years old has gotta be the dumbest fucking shit peak like it's like it's
Debating Flat Earth vs 10,000 Earth
Speaker 2. I think flat earth is far less stupid than the earth being 10 000 .
Speaker 1Yeah because , like flat earth , you look around and you go , I mean it does seem flat , you . You look around and you go , I mean it does seem flat , you like you look to your left . You look to your right and you go how the fuck is this thing round ? And then , but but if somebody walked up to you and go , you know we could count the number of people this thing goes back to you . Look at him , you're like what the fuck are you ?
Speaker 2talking about it's like you're 10,000 years .
Speaker 1That's like 120 people . Yeah , yeah you . You literally like , if somebody says that to you , you look at a tree and you're like you're telling me like 12 of those backwards , and they're like yeah , and you're like no no , how is that the earth ?
Speaker 2there's giant squids .
Speaker 1You fucking cunt like , shut up yeah , but like flat it kind of makes it yeah , that's true , that's true oh but , I think , the
Speaker 1the flat thing doesn't make any sense oh , back to the hillary clinton thing , though I mean I do love shitting on the protestants , but back to the hillary clinton thing . Is um that the now like it was so crazy that the entire media landscape rallied , the fucking like literally circled the wagons to protect her and then by the end of it , like they circle , like zuck has come full circle and now zuckerberg's going on rogan being like actually , um , I'm actually like really into hunting .
Speaker 2Now he got like a tan a haircut and did some jiu-jitsu classes and now he thinks he's like a bro .
Speaker 1I can't believe that people are getting fooled by it . Look at his black beady little eyes he has no pupils anytime I meet somebody with no pupils , I'm like this guy . This guy's a demon , this is a demon person you can .
Speaker 2That's the thing that I don't know what's been going on . I think it's . I'm just I'm finding the lord or something , but like when I see , like bb netanyahuahu and Mark Zuckerberg , and like we know , there are people hang up is or like , or like Chuck Schumer or like Chuck Schumer . Yeah , ok , or you ever see Chuck Schumer side profile where his back and neck like where his back , the middle of his back and like the end of his neck is like a whole foot and a half apart .
Speaker 1Yeah , he's like a hunch , that happens that can only be done after you've tasted the blood of like 50 children .
Speaker 2That's only achievable if you let a demon consume you and get inside your body .
Speaker 1Yeah , he's literally the shape of his body . If you looked at him and you saw the shape of his body , the only voice that you would think he talks like is yes , yes , yes , give me the child . If you saw the side profile of that shadow , the only thing you would think to yourself is where is ?
Speaker 2the boy , bring me the boy the boy , bring me the boy there . There are people out there that just they it's like so obviously a demon-y , fucking a demon-y fucking person . Oh shit , oh shit , bring me the boy , like if you put chuck schumer next to alexander volkanovsky and you're like who's the demon ? Yeah , I think the whole planet would be like the thing that has the fucking hunchback . What the fuck are we talking about ?
Speaker 3Oh , why your back look like that .
Speaker 2Yeah , Volkanovsky would be like oh man , Dude , it's weird how Australian is just like .
Speaker 4I think your spine might be a proper pedo .
Speaker 2oh man dude it's weird how australian might be a proper pedo .
Speaker 3Australian is just like a series of like I think this one might be a bit of a peat fall dude , they have like some british there , but I don't care I can't , I can't switch
Speaker 1between british and australian .
Speaker 2Once I'm in one , I'm stuck with that one australian has like some crazy alt right movement going on over there right now too yeah , I'm sure you're the head of it and like no one and like no one , even like no one is even saying anything to them . You know , they're just like all right . I feel like no one takes australia serious about anything at all like whatever movement they started . It'd be like , all right , you guys have the kangaroos , we get it , just chill out .
Speaker 1You're a prison colonel . Last time they fought a war , they fought emus and they lost . They fought knockoff ostriches and lost . Here come the emus blokes . And it's like could you imagine ?
Speaker 2though I mean . Imagine , though , you and me in the shield wall , side side by side , and cresting over the hill , is thousands of emus just in a full charge . Is that a giant bed ?
Speaker 1I think a giant bed is about to run at us Shielding spears boys .
Speaker 2Shielding spears . I was thinking about this the other day , Like okay , so Australia is famously deadly , it has so many deadly animals and shit . And imagine when the British first got there and were like this will be a perfect prison colony . It's on the other side of the fucking world . Well , I guess they weren't Australian .
Speaker 1They didn't have Australian accents , but they might have , because the thing is is the american accent is actually a very specific accent in britain , it's the puritan accent .
Speaker 1The accent that the puritans were doing is they brought it here , they brought it here so like the it here . So like the British accent evolved , it's our accent that kind of stayed the same , like that Puritan accent up north kind of stayed the same , that Boston thing , they sound like a little British . And then , like in the deep south , like on the coastal regions , like the inner regions , like the Appalachian people , appalachians , like that voice sounds a little not we , but like that voice sounds a little Irish . You know you got a little bit of like the cadence feels a little Irish , yes , scottish-irish , yeah , but when you get closer to the coast .
Speaker 1That deep southern accent I mean this sounds like a little British to me , doesn't it Like when you're doing ?
Speaker 2Senator Lindsey Graham . You know what it is .
Speaker 1It's slowed down british if you slow down the british , because it's hot with the tempo taking down a little bit hot out here and I just need my wife , nancy , to fan me down because stop , dude .
Speaker 2I don't want to . I don't want to hang out with lindsey I am okay , feeling so hot right now I'll need somebody to bring me a tall , cool glass could you imagine putting sunscreen on lindsey graham .
Speaker 1How fucking disgusting he would be about it .
Speaker 2How fucking hard he'd be make sure you get the middle of my back .
Speaker 1How hard he'd be the entire time . Oh , it just feels , doesn't it feel naughty ? It feels not , oh , no , not like that .
Speaker 2I meant like who votes for that fucking guy ? Who ?
Speaker 1votes for that guy . That's a great question . That's a . That's a thing . That's how you know democracy is fake . Is who the fuck puts lindsey graham in office every year ?
Speaker 2who's like . Who's like . He gets up at the podium and he's like I'm just so happy everyone's out here . Now let's send all the guns we have overseas so we can make more and do it again .
Speaker 4Who's with me ?
Speaker 1You know , when I think about foreign policy , the first thing I think is who would I rather have a nice cold glass of lemonade with ? I look at them . I say who's going to get this money ? Who's going to get some of this Lindsey Graham money ? I got to control the money around here and I say who's going to get this money ? Who's going to get some of this Lindsey Graham money ? I got to control the money around here and I say who wants that money ?
Speaker 1That's so gross man You're going to have to make me a nice cool glass of lemonade if you want Lindsey Graham's money .
Speaker 2And then you got the dude from Vermont like sign it up , sign it up , Please put your clothes back on , sir .
Speaker 1You got a good Bernie . You got to start bringing the Bernie out . Yeah , dude , I've been doing it for years .
Speaker 2That's a good Bernie , because I wanted Bernie to win because I thought if Bernie won , everyone would get a check in the mail for a million dollars that's what I thought was going to happen and all the prices would stay the same .
Speaker 1What would you say what was his ?
Speaker 2plan when Oprah used to hide gifts under people's seats at her shows . I thought he was going to come out and be like who wants to be a millionaire ? You're a millionaire and you're a millionaire . I thought that's what his whole thing was . I thought I was going to be a millionaire if I voted for him . That's why people that are fucking 19 should not be allowed to vote .
Speaker 3Like that's not yeah .
Speaker 4Like you should . Why is that allowed ? Why that guy has no , fucking .
Speaker 2My brother is 21 years old . He's as 21-year-olds go . He is fucking the 1% intelligence-wise .
Speaker 4Mm-hmm .
Speaker 2He is the most retarded socialist fucking pardon my French fag that is in my life , and it's only because he just has no fucking idea what's going on .
Speaker 1Yet no idea .
Speaker 2He hasn't read anything about anything . He hasn't made any money and seen how much money he gets to keep .
Speaker 1Wait till someone taxes your black ass .
Speaker 3Wait till a motherfucker come and say give me that money . Who going to give me that money ? You need to be out on them streets doing that work . You're going to have to give your money .
Speaker 2I got to roll buddy man .
Speaker 1I was just getting into the federal government doing Gary G , we were peaking . I think that's what you call peaking .
Speaker 2We can start with Gary G , leave the people guessing . Okay , dude , think that's what you call peaking .
Speaker 1We can start with gary g . Leave the people . Leave the people guessing , you know ? Okay , dude . Well , I'll uh have a nice day , do we do have a nice day ? And bill clinton's voice now .
Speaker 2From now on , I can't , I don't , I don't have a good clinton , come on have a nice day . I it's not even , I can't even do it really like that . Do it , do it . Do it as bernie , you gotta do it have a nice day .
Speaker 1I can't do bernie , I can do clinton , I can't even do it really like that . Do it as Bernie , you got to do it , have a nice day .
Speaker 4I can't do Bernie . I can do Clinton . I can't do Bernie . Yeah , I can't do it either .
Speaker 1Have a nice day .
Speaker 2Well , good for you . I almost just said a bad word . All right , well , all right , farewell , have a nice day . Black helicopters .