Have A Nice Day
Typically right about everything. Eventually. Just give it a minute.
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Have A Nice Day
"Wait, Who Killed Christ?" (feat. Winston Hodges)
Give it back to rome. Nah, i'm joking they can keep it... anyways go to latin mass. or maybe spanish mass. i haven't tried spanish mass yet. i might do that this weekend. Genuinely if you're protestant and you listen to this podcast - what are you doing? I mean thank you, sincerely thank you, but wild choice.
Episode Minutes:
- Opus Dei
- 19th Century Twitter
- Clockwork Orange Theory
Contact Winston
Website: https://beacons.ai/winstonhcomedy
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/winstonhcomedy/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WinstonHodges
Don't Tell Special: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Fn1pJOqdgc
The bear up front really is named Winston.
Speaker 2:That's crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was like A little bit was because I was like. This reminds me of Winston, but also just a great name. Yeah, it is a great name for a fucking animal, for a bear in a sweater, yeah, Christmas bear.
Speaker 1:Winston's a very Christmassy name. That's what we have on the podcast today everyone. This is Winston, very funny comedian in DC and also a Virginia boy, so we brought him on to talk about racial identity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're doing the DEI episode.
Speaker 1:Why Kamala Harris is bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like we better get ready to what a week away.
Speaker 1:A week away from our uncle going to be finally taking over this country like we belong.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's going to be a big Thanksgiving this year.
Speaker 1:Dude Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:No matter what happens, it's going to be off the wall Thanksgiving this year.
Speaker 1:Oh, I can't wait, dude. I can't wait for the memes alone the Facebook memes mean my fucking. My uncle's got a newsletter that he sends me like it's a chain email that every time my brother gets it he like fucking, immediately calls me.
Speaker 2:He's like you see he's so pumped up, dude, it makes a lot it's hilarious dude.
Speaker 1:Oh, fucking. So ryan. Ryan nacer said that I was on a show yesterday. He he was like. He hit me up. He was like, can you do this show? I was like I'm pretty sure I'm flying that day, but let me find out. And then my flight got delayed. So I was like, yeah, I remember that show. I was pretty sure I couldn't do. I definitely can't do it now yeah, but he had already promoted it as if I was on it in bright box theater.
Speaker 1:So my brother texted me at like 10.30 at night. He was like what?
Speaker 2:are you doing?
Speaker 1:and I was like I'm on a plane and he was like I thought you were supposed to be doing a show in Winchester and I was like are you there? And he was like yeah, dude and I was like, why wouldn't you tell me? Don't try to surprise me.
Speaker 2:I was going to surprise you.
Speaker 1:I was like fuck.
Speaker 2:Who did they replace?
Speaker 1:you with, I think, benny Nakibia, nice.
Speaker 2:So very wonderful, Because Nazer also DM'd me and I wasn't available. I think he was just like who can we slide in? Well, that would have made sense, yeah.
Speaker 1:He went in the complete opposite direction. Yeah, he was like well, if we can't, he went with post-militant white guys, if we can't get a dude from the South. We'll go with. We'll go with a tall black guy from Africa. Yeah, we're going to Africa.
Speaker 2:Really shake it up.
Speaker 1:I don't know, is Benny not from Africa?
Speaker 2:No, he's born in Europe. Because he does the thing where he talks about, he can do all those languages or whatever. I can't remember.
Speaker 1:I think he says he can speak all of those languages and he's doing stand-up comedy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but he's like he grew up in Switzerland or something because, yeah, yeah, I might be wrong Right away.
Speaker 1:Very European, that annoys me right away. It's like if you were.
Speaker 2:It's such a good trick, though. It is like such a good comedy trick when he's like oh, where are you from? And they say any country, and he said, and he can say like like a few sentences in, and it's like damn, dude, it's like yeah, you can speak the language.
Speaker 1:It makes him look like a genius. That is that's more of a sales trick. I love it, dude. It's a trick, though. I love tricks, man. That's. My favorite part of comedy is the is the things where you learn it. You're like, oh, I'm gonna do that forever, never gonna, and no one's gonna know it's a trick. They're gonna think it's. I do that exact same thing, except mine comes off way more racist. I'm like where are you from?
Speaker 2:it was like germany. I'm like oh yeah, yeah, you just continue to speak english in the accent. Oh, you're from Africa, 100%.
Speaker 1:That's why I like when they're from England, dude. It's because I don't have to switch anything up, I can still do the same language.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1:Where are you coming from, governor? Dude when we went to England, like fucking, I went out there for my buddy's wedding.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were in Ireland and shit too right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I went for my buddy's wedding. Yeah, you were in ireland and shit too right. All of that dude. And like eight minutes in, you realize that like, at first you're getting on the plane, you're getting ready to fly, like british airlines, and this, uh, the dude that I'm talking to, I was like, oh yeah, like, what do I do when I like, because I had to do a connection, I had to land at heathrow and then go to another part of heathrow, which he throws is such a fucking Is it a big airport?
Speaker 1:Not only is it a big airport, they don't know how to do infrastructure over there. So, like there's one airport you land, then you have to get on a bus and drive like an hour and a half to another airport and then fly again and they sell that as like a connecting flight.
Speaker 2:It's like well, that's not really a connecting flight.
Speaker 1:I've got gotta really hustle for that. Uh, I I'm like doing, uh, I'm moving in between those two things. It's not like walking to a different gate. I have to go to a different part of the city, but the dude who's there was irish, so he's like checking me in at british airlines and I'm like what do I do? He's like you're gonna take a bus. And I was like is that? Like, is that a real bus? Like, when you guys say bus, does that mean the same thing as bus for us? And he goes oh, of course, machu, machu.
Speaker 2:And he like rubs my head and he goes yes, over there we don't have buses.
Speaker 1:We here, we just have a horse that's gonna carry you there I was, like now I don't know if you're fucking with me yeah but like right away, it's just like it feels so good when you hear this stupid little accent. Dude man, I love an accent, yeah, I over there it's. It's cool for about I like the irish accent but the british accent is cool.
Speaker 2:British accent is cool for about six hours and there's so many different british accents it's like such a tiny country and then they'll be like people live 30 minutes apart and sound like they were from different universes.
Speaker 1:It's like you live. You live like walking guys, like saying come here, I'm here, you're gonna guess from manchester and liverpool and you're like.
Speaker 2:Well, you live six minutes apart from each other, so I don't understand the scouser accent.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's the coolest part about england is like you think that they're rich because, like america, all we get is like this posh interpretation of england. It's just like kings and fucking queens, but like they're so poor, like it's one rich city surrounded by just poorest white people you've ever met and they are so fucking they come at you. They're just like we're coming over here to rough and tumble neighborhood oh, it's raining again, is it?
Speaker 2:yeah, I'm all right pissed off from stepping in puddles. I sleep in there, buddha. My cardboard's all wet now my newspaper blankets bleeding through.
Speaker 1:It is yeah, dude, they're, they're ridiculous humans. They're like every single person over there is, like in an oliver twist movie.
Speaker 2:Well, I like watching the. I'll sometimes get obsessed like a like in different youtube rabbit holes and the one I'm in now is like british people trying like american food and there's like a bunch and one of every time they have our candy. Like the candy's too sweet, it's just too chocolatey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah they, they do. They're obsessed with talking about how our chocolate is too sweet, like their chocolate's, like much richer or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's real chocolate.
Speaker 1:Okay, but dude go over and eat their time. It's dog, shit, dude. You go over there and it's like like if you go into the grocery store and you buy, like cooking cocoa, like the stuff that you would cook with to put chocolate in. That's like all of their chocolate. It's just like 96% cocoa. You take a bite of it, it's bitter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they complain about chocolate and then they'll see like a candy. But oh, these colors aren't natural sour patch kids hey, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, of course they're not.
Speaker 2:Natural dude, welcome to america then they try like regular food and they can't. It's too good, dude, there's like this one group where they like. Well, they give like this. These kids like high school kids and they brought on popeyes no shit, dude, unreal video, unreal, they're like this is a biscuit. It's sweet, what's the biscuit sweet like a yeah, they're called shit like uh, so that's a scone. It's like no, it's a fucking biscuit. Yeah, it's not a cookie. Yeah, it's not a cookie, it's a biscuit.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's awesome. I'm trying to eat fried chicken with big meat. I like when they have to do anything American, Like I was their number one show, Like when a war. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, we're going to come over there and show them how to do that sometimes. Don't make us get all big brother.
Speaker 1:You want us to call big bruv. You come over here, you give you what, what for? Yeah, in germany's like say, our big bruv too every single person was like, just like looking at us like which one you're gonna go?
Speaker 2:yeah, where's it gonna be?
Speaker 1:they had a great. I was watching some documentary that had a great story about how, um, when wilson was it? Yeah, when woodrow wilson was getting ready to take us into World War, I he had to go from town to town to convince people that we were going to go on the side of England, because the only people that wanted to fight for England or go to war for England was the Northeast and the rest of the country just fucking despised England Because everything except for that one little corner is just german and irish, so like
Speaker 1:everyone over there here's this town that he went to in montana that they were mining copper to like sell munitions to england and they were going on strike because they didn't want to help england. Dude, they did interviews with the people. These are people born in america, so they're interviewing them in like the 70s afterwards and they're like kind of talking about it. These are people born in America, never been to Ireland, full-blown Irish accents Awesome, because their parents were from Ireland.
Speaker 2:And they're not around anybody else and you never are around anyone your whole life, dude.
Speaker 1:So you're not around anyone your whole life. You have a full-blown irish accent and they were, they had, they were doing paramilitary welcome to lincoln high school, yeah I am mr mcmillan and I'll be teaching you us history 101 yeah it's fucking crazy bro and then so these fucking guys are interviewing them and they were like, yeah, we were getting prepared to go and enter on the war on the side of the Germans.
Speaker 1:We were ready to kill England. They told us we were going to fight for England. We were so upset we couldn't believe it. Half the boys almost fell out. They were training, doing paramilitary operations throughout Montana, getting ready to invade England. They were like, oh, we're fighting England getting ready to invade england.
Speaker 2:They were like, oh, we're fighting england. Well, this is like it's. When you ever read or see anything about that, you, if you know anything about history, you slowly realize that like people are like, oh, america shouldn't be involved in this war. Literally every war we've ever had, half the country's been like we should like. Literally world war two.
Speaker 1:There's so many people being like let hitler do what he needs like he's not bothering anybody like what's wrong with the germans, dude, what is the big deal?
Speaker 2:literally. It literally took just them attacking us, like it took the japanese for us to be like all right, well, that's the final. That's the final moment get involved.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean the world war one, one like that's there's a there's a nice part about like 1944 feels, like is when it starts, and then Vietnam's obvious. Like it's hard to like history because every time you bring it up people get so upset because there's so many conspiracies Like even like the Japanese being like oh yeah, the Japanese attacked us and then like half the country right now will be like that's because FDR let them attack us?
Speaker 2:Yeah, because we knew about it the day before. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But of the day before, yeah, and then. But then, like, world war one is just far enough away where, like, the conspiracies don't come through, so you can just kind of be like, yeah, so this is what was happening. The irish didn't want to help the english you know these are facts.
Speaker 1:It's like a simpler time. Yeah, now, everything I mean is, completely, I was watching some shit. No, no, it was in the atlantic, um, and the article was uh, about how the age of misinformation, like people have never been more misinformed, yeah, in any time in history. And I'm like dude, we did the Salem witch trials like what are you talking about, brother?
Speaker 2:this is just the first time you can hear people from Nebraska okay, dude, if you had gone back into like, like, yeah, if there had been Twitter, if there had been Twitter in fucking 1912, and you went and talked to some dude from Nebraska. I bet you'd be shocked at what his opinions were. Yeah, dude X back then is just people being like my fucker on it. Light this bitch on fire later. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Just guys Googling like my wife spoke back to me.
Speaker 2:She a witch and core is like yes, absolutely. You want to speak to one of our experts, would you?
Speaker 1:like to speak to one of our experts about how to keep your wife quiet yeah trust me americans, like if you got to talk to people in Florida just like 40 years ago. I mean, forget it.
Speaker 2:Well, I think what sucks is you just I don't like knowing everything. I was talking to my girlfriend and I was like it feels like when you're in history class and they're like, all right, here's the list of the reasons we got into a war and they list, like the sinking of the Lusitania the Zimmerman, they start naming all these. I feel like you're in history class and they're like, all right, here's the list of the reasons we got into a war, and they list, like the sinking of the Lusitania the Zimmerman, they start naming all these. I feel like we're in that right now.
Speaker 2:I feel like in 40 years, they're going to be like, okay, so Gaza happened.
Speaker 1:And they start just listing every single thing, and then the election.
Speaker 2:They wouldn't believe it.
Speaker 1:And that's why World War III started. That's leave it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's why world war three started. That's like uh, um, I forget who made this point. Oh, it was, um, it was this guy from. It was the guy who wrote the clockwork orange. And he was uh. Have you ever watched firing line with william f buckley? No, dude, william f buckley is his. He's a recurring character on this show.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you that is that like the 60s? Like talk, like he's like the conservative?
Speaker 1:william buckley, conservative. Like talking to him. He talks like this is William.
Speaker 2:Buckley, I'm getting like. Is he the one that called Gore Vidal? Yes, great documentary. Yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:William Buckley looks at Gore Vidal on national TV.
Speaker 2:He's like now listen here, you little faggot it is he gets so fired up, but he says it in that accent and it's hilarious he's got that like hog English accent but he's not English at all, he's just from America. He's just an American conservative as shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's so conservative he does a different accent than everyone else. I forget what that accent is called. I think it's called Mid-Atlantic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mid-atlantic and now the Mid-Atlantic accent has changed to where it's like dude, you're coming down here on Tuesday.
Speaker 1:Dude, what the fuck did Gordon say to? Me, dude, I'll kick your ass on a Tuesday, I'll kick your ass and fucking get to France, dude.
Speaker 2:I drowned his ass on a Tuesday in the ocean.
Speaker 1:It's like fucking bitch every accident needs a hook, and the fact that you just gave me the Baltimore one, which is Drandy's ass in the ocean on a Tuesday.
Speaker 2:I mean that is, that's the one, because it's also a Baltimore thing to do. Yeah, dude, I fucking eat that ocean eat some crabs.
Speaker 1:Eat some crabs and Drandy's ass in the ocean on a Tuesday yeah, you need the thing that does singing to it, yeah there's so fucking. That's how far our country's fallen. It's the mid-atlantic used to be. William f buckley's talking like this hello, this is firing line and I have my opponent and now it's like ray luis didn't kill nobody if you want to measure how far our country's fallen. And that's just. It's just that the words, because like that's always like a beautiful measure of things, it's like how words evolve over time that the mid-atlantic accent rey lose, didn't kill nobody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's all william f buckley would be doing on Fire and Wine is bringing Gore Vidal on to argue about whether or not.
Speaker 2:Gore, what the fuck did you say about Ray?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that Ray Rice did nothing wrong.
Speaker 2:He did it his wife.
Speaker 1:She fucking deserved it. Yo. She shouldn't have been talking back to him. Ray Rice is now.
Speaker 2:He's now an anti-domestic violence advocate. That's like he's a speaker for it. And it's him and his wife that and then he goes and he speaks and she just stands in the corner and stares at him like you know what you did.
Speaker 1:I read this whole article where he just was like he's like, yeah, football was gone.
Speaker 2:He's like he said I felt like this is the only thing that I could do to get penance.
Speaker 1:Wow I mean, but like how much is enough penance? You know what I mean. I mean like 10 years of your wife just staring you down.
Speaker 2:But it's also funny because now it's his job, so it's like he found a way to make money off of hitting his wife. He monetized it.
Speaker 1:I mean, therapy is always telling you, which is obviously all horseshit, but that's a big take on this podcast is that therapy is wrong and that sigmund freud was on cocaine, but uh, like I don't know, like the, the therapeutic thing of like always talking about it makes it easier. I think at some point always talking about it cannot be good for you.
Speaker 1:No, it's bad you like, like, there's no way they're happy. Like because, like, because what do you do after one of those speeches? He just gets done. He's like so you, you want to go to you want to go get kfc?
Speaker 2:we go to ocean prime. Yeah, no, dude, it's. Yeah, man, I think it's. Oh, dude, I was thinking, if you watch the, do you watch rogan trump? No, no I watched a little bit on it on the plane I watched the first like 20 minutes of it. I'm gonna finish it, I'm gonna finish it today it's.
Speaker 1:It was too hard to watch it on the plane because like I just didn't like it, just I knew everyone was just like staring at me yeah, watching it it's like too much of a lightning rod where it's just like listen, I'm just watching it, I'm just that's a weird thing now, like people don't want you to take in certain information, like they're like people get upset with you if you just want to like, hey man, I just want to understand what's happening in the world.
Speaker 2:Well, they're also just like why can't I look some of this stuff up? The other thing is it's like they think if you're even watching it, you're so dumb that, like you watch it and you're going to become a huge trump dude that's the big thing where it's just like, it's like you're gonna get trust, like I'm not stupid, like let me, yes, watch the thing like I just got in a huge argument with my girlfriend while we were like rogan is a gateway podcast to argue with your girlfriend it's a gateway podcast into a two-day fight yes, but she it's a gateway podcast into you being a public speaker with.
Speaker 1:Yeah that like there is, I think it's to like having to be like you're fucking googling the quora.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I get my girlfriend to stop talking about donald how can I get my girlfriend let me watch joe rogan and fucking peace it's also so funny because there are dudes that come in and being like all right, don't bother, I'm going to watch the news. They just turn it on.
Speaker 1:I have like asked chat GPT how to get through fights before where I'm just like how do I fucking? I need AI to help me defeat my girlfriend and it will give you, honestly, genuinely pretty good advice, and then you just ignore it, you just go. No, I'm gonna go start a fight, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, maybe I'll tickle her yeah that'll always gets her pissed off, but that was no her.
Speaker 1:I think that's a um she, she. We were talking about that and uh, it's. You know, we. There is a section of the country which has always believed this, which is like the northeast, it's like very much the puritan ethos, yeah, which is like we'll tell you what to believe, like yeah, we're the experts, we're the expert class.
Speaker 1:We'll let, like knowledge and institutions be passed down on to you rather than you going and finding out that information yourself and then, like I mean, I don't think anyone really that was never american, like that was very anti-American belief.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because we were like you know, the settlers. You had the people going out and like fucking figuring out the middle of the country with like no resources whatsoever and just building towns out of nowhere, and those were kind of like the type of people that were also becoming president, like Lincoln you know he's like a fucking Kentucky settler also becoming president. Like lincoln, you know he's like a fucking kentucky settler, yeah. But then you get like kennedy in this era of like the northeast in the expert classes and we start like relying on experts so much that the americans have just become like yeah, they're just like oh, just tell me what to believe and then that's what I'll believe.
Speaker 1:It's like, dude, just go think on your own for five minutes yeah, I've been like just trying not to the this election.
Speaker 2:I'm just doing everything can to not to not scream at people like dude when I and it's and here's the thing is like I'd really you know my family's conservative shit. I love them to death. But when I talk to like any conservative person and then like they'll say something where I'm like it's okay, you want to vote for him, that's fine, but it's like it's like China doesn't pay the tariffs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like I don't know how to explain to you that. That's not how a fucking tariff works at all Like oh dude.
Speaker 2:Chinese are going to pay these tariffs Like they're not paying the tariffs. The Mexicans aren't paying for the wall. It's like America pays for these things.
Speaker 1:That was like our podcast. We've talked about this on multiple episodes, so I don't want people to get upset, but, like, dude, just let them all in. Just let them all in, open the borders wide open, because the alternative and this sounds horrific, but this is a true statement is like their alternative is getting their heads chopped off by a cartel. So if you tell them, okay, you're going to get arrested up here.
Speaker 2:Great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're like yeah, okay deal. Yeah, deal, I'm going to prison for how long it's? Two weeks, are you joking? Two weeks? Or my family gets their head chopped off. Okay, I'm coming up. I'm going to try it. So like, unless you're going to drone, strike them at the border, they're going to keep coming. So like, just open the border, give them visas and then they can go back. They'll come in, like I don't want the racial makeup of the country to change they'll go you know, we had this all the way up until 1960.
Speaker 1:We had a wide open border with mexico, because I mean realistically, just the technology, like nothing you do.
Speaker 2:It's too big of a border.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we have the biggest border in the world. Everyone's like why don't we build a wall like europe? It's like, well, their borders are 35 feet. Okay, our border is 2700 miles. You can't, it's the biggest border in the world. You can't do anything about it. So I mean just fucking. You know you can't build a wall that big, it doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the whole there's, there's I don't know I think that's the first person like. It's like they can't do that. Yeah, and it's like, and just being like. Yeah, dude, I've literally the tariff one has been the one that has been in my brain, has felt just latched on to it, because when they're just like well then I'm like like the tariffs work when you have alternatives in America for people to pivot to, but it's like you're going to put the tariffs on China and then it's like we don't have a chip. Fact.
Speaker 1:There is like we're still going to pay the tariff, we don't produce anything anymore, yeah, I mean I gonna pay the tariff, don't produce anything anymore.
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean I guess it's like you do the mass deportation and it's like all right, well then, I hope you're ready for the gdp of this country to go down 15.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they did it in miami and there was like they people were filming when they did like a mass deportation. They were filming construction sites all empty. It was just like empty construction sites which it's like. I mean, let's you, you know, is there. I fucking I forget where this came from. But okay, to wrap all the way back to your original point about uh, we were talking about that guy from the clockwork orange and like all of the things in history, like starting to add up.
Speaker 1:He had this point where it was like you know, like the Romans didn't know that the Roman empire was collapsing when they're in it. It's only when you're like 40 years later, a hundred years later, that you like, you realize it's not like one thing, it's like the social zeitgeist.
Speaker 1:Like everything starts moving in one direction and it just starts building momentum and you never really like catch it and it was like that is almost exactly like right now. It's almost scary that you can kind of see it happening, where they start like adding up. But I think, like when you talk to older people, which is like a rough part about us like america has become so spread out that you're not like seeing your grandparents all the time anymore, because, like you have to have kids later, you have to move further.
Speaker 1:So people don't get to talk to old people anymore well, now your jobs take you all.
Speaker 2:They can take you anywhere, as opposed to being like I guess I'm just gonna work in the city. Yeah, I'm gonna work near, yeah dude, you got to.
Speaker 1:I was out in denver and like nobody in there, nobody in denver is from denver. Everyone has moved there. It's all 22 year olds moving there right after college to like go find themselves in the mountains and it's like you know what's really finding yourself is going and like taking care of your nana yeah, like it'll suck. Like just go there every day and just fucking, you know, sit there and take care of your dad or something like. Dude, that's like having responsibilities is what makes you like a human being and a citizen, and like we just don't have responsibilities anymore.
Speaker 1:But those old people can also tell you things like hey, by the way, I came up in the 20s or I came up in, you know, I mean now not anymore. Your grandparents aren't born in the 20s, maybe ours were, but like not anymore. But like they came up in like the 40s. Like, hey, everything sucked back then too. Yeah, we thought the world was gonna end too, and guess what? It turned out fine. It's like you know, if you're smart, you know that the world's fucked up. If you're dumb, you don't know the world's fucked up. If you're smart, you know the world's well, the worst thing is.
Speaker 2:But if you're wise you know that it's been fucked up. But the worst part is when you're the dumb and then you start to get smart, and then there's that five to six years to where like, where you're like, oh no like where you're not smart enough to know that it has always been fucked up that panic mode.
Speaker 1:The first day when you see the Matrix is not good, that first day when you start seeing the numbers line up. It's like that Matrix screen. That's the phase I'm in right now. I'm trying to remember. Well, that's like I think the internet did that to a lot of people Because, I mean, I can remember the internet did that to a lot of people because, like I mean, like I can remember and this is I guess, youtube came out what like 2006?.
Speaker 2:And I remember seeing yeah, because it came out like in the middle of me being in high school.
Speaker 1:Yes, I didn't even have it through, it was like I had Newgrounds and Funny Junk yeah. I got it like middle school. I remember being at Art monk football camp was the first time I saw youtube. Somebody was like, do you want to watch brandon lloyd highlights? And I was like, how do you do that? And they were like there's this thing called youtube I remember not knowing how to how to search youtube when I got home and I couldn't find the website for like until school started again because there was no way for me to reach out to anyone.
Speaker 1:So I had to like see my buddy dave and be like how did he spell youtube? Because I kept typing in you and then to you. Yeah, I could not find it, I didn't even know how to type in a fucking website. That's how bad I was with the internet. But they also on that website. On youtube they started putting documentaries like loose change and fucking zeitgeist and like all of these like 9-11 ones.
Speaker 1:So I started getting really into like the iraq war being a bad idea and just ruining family dinners talking about the iraq war and now full circle, like my mom, you know, I mean my dad probably never got back to there, but my mom was like the iraq war was like fucked up. Like now that's like, yeah, the official position of the Republican Party when my family used to be so fucking mad at me for talking about the Iraq war being a bad idea that now it's like the official position of the Republican Party is that like the Iraq war was a horrible idea and fucked up all our kids and shit.
Speaker 2:Well, and I feel like you. Just they need that, everyone just needs that time to be removed to where you can look back on it like, oh, that was a bad idea. Because, like when you're trying to tell someone like here's a bad idea, it's like they're in the middle of a losing streak at a blackjack table and like you can't pull me away, like it's, we're here all right. How am I supposed to get the money back if I don't?
Speaker 1:stay at the table. Yeah, it's just dick cheney. I'm about to split these tens. Get the fuck away from me. Saddam's the dealer and he's like I know that he's got a two and a six in there. I know he's got them the only reason we're here is because he said he flips over a blackjack and he's like fucking weapons of mass destruction again.
Speaker 2:I grew up like a real conservative so I was like young republican.
Speaker 1:You have young republican face dude, I was, I was so look at the camera real quick. I mean you've got. Yeah, dude, it was. I was young republican. We're like in high school.
Speaker 2:There's a memory where it's like I was in ninth grade and I was like uh and uh and we had like a big presidential debate thing. Yeah, I debated on the side of the Republicans versus a senior. That was on the side of I think it was Bush and Kerry, and you just called him gay. I cooked that motherfucker dude.
Speaker 1:Would you cook him on abortion?
Speaker 2:No, I literally was up there being like well, I know we don't want a lot of people up here flip-flopping on issues.
Speaker 1:I just remember, I was just so much happier then.
Speaker 2:As a a Republican, you can just like. When people tell you something, you can just be like I don't care yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, it's like think about, the happiest part of your life is when you could just freely say gay and mentally. I mean it's like when you got to call stuff that, I mean, weren't you in a better mood?
Speaker 2:Just say whatever and then just being like, hey, it might hurt someone's feeling, I'm like that's their problem.
Speaker 1:I just truly believed that.
Speaker 2:And then I got older and was like I never mind. I don't really believe this anymore, Not having empathy fucking rules. I mean you never have to worry about that shit. I haven't won an argument since Game of Liberal. It's hard to win an argument when you can actually see both sides, when you can empathize with the person across from you. You have so much trauma I totally understand.
Speaker 1:It makes sense, but that's the issue with like. I mean, that's one thing. Now I feel like the left is becoming like a little bit of like an anti-empathy party dude.
Speaker 1:Because when you hear them talk about like making fun of, like. There was this woman in Springfield, ohio, and I don't think it's. She wasn't accusing anyone of like eating dogs, but she was just talking about like what's happening with a lot of people being brought to her town and like, uh, like, whether it's like the haitian immigrant, whatever the fuck. I don't know if it was all haitian immigrants. She wasn't.
Speaker 2:She didn't like specify that, but she was just like.
Speaker 1:I can't afford my house anymore. And then you look at the comments and it's all like you remember when people used to say learn to code, they used to be like hashtag learn to code. This is like a 70-year-old woman. And they're like get a fucking job, you dumb bitch, why don't you just do that? And it's like dude, she had a job. Okay, she worked at the IBM factory, fucking 40 years ago. Yeah, met her husband there. You know she was probably doing punch cards, something like back then. That was like technically difficult to do. Yeah, and then she, you know, she meets her husband. They get fucking pregnant. They have two kids. She stops working at the IBM factory. Then her fucking husband gets promoted to plant manager. But then, like, I mean, think about what that woman's like. I don't think people who haven't lived outside of cities. You gotta go and look in the country. That was one thing that, like, 2016 should have taught everyone is you have to go and look at our country, dude, because you need to know why people wanted to vote that way.
Speaker 1:The rest of our country is getting fucked dude that woman like okay, everything up to like 2000, everything's going pretty good, and then fucking 9-11 happens. Both of her kids go to like iraq and afghanistan. Her fucking husband loses his job because of nafta, so, like now he starts drinking, like fucking. Fentanyl comes into her community. So her kids come back from ira, iraq with their fucking legs blown off and now they can't get any benefits through the VA hospital so they buy Oxycontin on the streets, laced with fentanyl. Now one of her sons dies. Her husband starts drinking even more. He fucking kills himself. They lose their house because of the 2008 financial crisis.
Speaker 2:It's like dude. And then everyone on the internet is like get good bitch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, get good at fucking python. What are you talking about, dude? People are fucked like. I mean, if you are not like in a certain level of like the suburbs right outside of a major city, like, yeah, dude, it sucks, your community's getting fucking hammered right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and and I think the thing that is like the being being a dude that's pretty heavy into like, uh, more like left-leaning politics, it's like dude. I I get so frustrated when people can't even straight up, just can't talk to somebody and can't even hear it or like, or also dude, and it's such a trope now. But like the being like a liberal, progressive dude and then being like, if you're, if you don't check the exact same checkpoint, you can have, yeah, 99 boxes because that's the difference between republicans and democrats.
Speaker 2:Democrats, everything's got the hundred check seats are like, oh, what are your beliefs? And on the republican one, you can be, I believe, 20 of these and 80 of these. And the other guy could be like, okay, well then, we're both republicans, we're still gonna vote the same way yeah, democrats are like. You could have 99 of the same 100 boxes checked.
Speaker 1:If you're missing one, You're missing that one. They're just like oh, that's crazy. I didn't know you were a fucking Nazi. That's really interesting. I didn't know you were a.
Speaker 2:Nazi by supporting Israel.
Speaker 1:And I'm like that won't have no meaning. Call me something different, even though, like eight years ago, it was like you had to be, like you had to make sure you weren't anti-semitic and now it's like no dude, you better be fucking anti-semitic. We were watching curb. Your enthusiasm, your girlfriend were on the plane. We were watching curb and they had an episode called palestinian chicken dude that episode's unbelievable.
Speaker 1:It was so fucking funny dude, but they were just like they were talking about, like fucking. Uh, they dropped raghead in the fucking episode and I was just like what?
Speaker 2:and I haven't heard that since.
Speaker 1:Like, oh, seven, that's a long time and she was like it had to be 10 years ago. She nailed it it was 2011. I was like damn dude back when the country was good.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I just hate it. I just hated that shit. Man, I really hate the whole. Like you can't have one disagreeing, you know one, it literally is. Now you have one dissenting opinion and they're just like oh, you're like the worst person that's ever you're just as bad as like whatever it's like no that's not how any of this works. No, you can't be, and that's why they. That's why democrats are such fucking losers.
Speaker 1:That's why, they fucking lose a lot of the time, I think they, I, I think, like growing up, like that always was the case is that democrats lost, but like now, my, now that I look back at it, my whole lifetime it's been nothing but Democrats. I think they like to like paint themselves as like we're the party that like we're the, we're the good guys and we're always like we're just punching above our weight class and we're trying our best but we keep on losing. We're fighting the good fight, but like there is an ideal that the democrats have of themselves is like these kennedy people where it's like dude, that's been so far gone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you no longer represent the working class in any in any way in any meaningful way, like the, the way that they've, because, like I mean, from clinton, like what, that's eight years, and then you get bush eight years, so that kind of evens out. But then you get obama eight years, then you get Bush eight years, so that kind of evens it out. But then you get Obama eight years, then you get one year of Trump and then you get four years of Biden. So it's like I don't. It feels like if they were going to fix it they've had plenty of time to fix it but I genuinely don't think that they represent those parties, those groups of people that they're pretending to represent Literally outside of being pro-union.
Speaker 2:they're not.
Speaker 1:Like that's literally. I don't think they're fucking pro-union anymore dude.
Speaker 2:So like I think that like at least with, at least with biden, even if it is like um, uh, like this is like the only actual like when people say biden didn't do anything, it's like he is the first president to walk a picket line, like that like that's a fact, like he is, and if you look at legislation stuff, he's the most pro-union president in the history of america, so like.
Speaker 2:So that is like the that. Like they say he didn't do shit. That is like the one thing that he did. There's been like a big strides in union, but I think outside of that, that's the only reason neither party is pro-working class, like that's the thing is like the republicans are, so they're just worse. It's like even like you just because, but it makes perfect sense.
Speaker 1:It's because, like, where does their money come from? Like the donor, the donor class is no longer like once upon a time, the way unions worked in this country. The reason they were effective was the mafia was in some way to like make America safer.
Speaker 2:It was like no dude, Just to destroy unions. Yeah, it was just to destroy unions.
Speaker 1:The mafia was a big business. The mafia had so much money from the unions, they built Las Vegas. They had so much money, they built a city in the desert to hide their money like that's how much money was fucking coming into these italian fucking monkeys.
Speaker 1:It's awesome, they fuck. I mean because I mean I worked for union factories like I worked in factories up in pennsylvania. It was like a. It was a fucking shock to realize how much power the mafia and the unions had at one point but they all worked in sync. So like if you fucked with the teachers union, well guess what dude the next day, the teamsters, everybody who loads your fucking ships, everybody who builds your houses, everybody goes on strike at the same time.
Speaker 2:I think that's where the power is. The power in the union isn't just, it's not just in the oh. This one group is shutting down it's like okay, we'll just let you know, like if you don't give this group what they want the country's done. Yes, and we're all it's that mutually, it's a group of people being like I will ruin my life.
Speaker 1:Nukes, mutually assured destruction, yep and so they fucking, they came in there and they busted up the mafia and everybody was like, oh yeah, that was nice, they got rid of the mafia. It was like no, no, no, they were getting rid of the unions, because who's friends with mayor giuliani, you know? Now, look where he's at now. It's like dude. Yeah. Rich people and owners of companies were like, hey, dude, fucking, get these unions I've never seen, so we don't have labor anymore.
Speaker 2:I don't think I've ever seen the historical figure burned through goodwill, the way that rudolph giuliani dude literally to have 9-11, goodwill to be able to go on saturday night, live the week after 9-11 and to do all that and then in 20 years people were like I think this guy's the fucking devil.
Speaker 1:It's like people taking memes of him like sweating like his hair is just like fucking streaking down his face.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just like that's falling down and the caption is just like that feeling when you wish it was 9-11.
Speaker 1:What a fucking fall from grace. Yeah, dude. And then now everybody's being like yo, why the fuck did he break up the unions?
Speaker 2:you know what I mean everybody's like.
Speaker 1:I think that mafia shit was a little yeah. Yeah, his whole fucking thing is gonna just slowly fall apart, but because it's hard to tell people where they're.
Speaker 2:Just like, oh julian is. If I'm like, oh man, he was america's mayor yeah, yeah, that's what we called him america's mayor. We called him America's mayor, america's mayor, right, that was like, even if it was just for a short amount of time, that's the last time. I really remember America being like oh, this is like yeah for real, even if it was for just a little bit.
Speaker 1:And you know what I'll say this Maybe it's good that we're not.
Speaker 2:Because when we were together.
Speaker 1:You know what we did.
Speaker 2:We went over and destabilized the middle east, yeah that's.
Speaker 1:Maybe there's a point yeah, that's what they.
Speaker 2:That's what they don't want. If they don't want america united, it's because that's when we're just doing stuff like like we should get more. Every time we're united, we're like I think we should be more involved.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think when americans agree like yeah, you're right, we should be doing shit everywhere. Yeah, it's almost good when we're at each other's throats, because when we are unified, we're coming to your doorstep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we should so China is destabilizing us with TikTok, thank God. Yeah, because it'll be the type of thing where you have, when we're not united, people are like I think we should go over there and do something.
Speaker 1:No, we shouldn't do that. And then we're together.
Speaker 2:It's like we should go over there and someone's like, yes, yeah, really good idea. Yes, and I think we should go to their next door neighbor too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it becomes improv where the one half of the country starts.
Speaker 2:Yes anding the other half of the country.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's exactly what happened, like fucking post-world war ii is. We were so united, we liked each other so much. Somebody was like I think we should go into vietnam. Somebody was like and korea?
Speaker 2:yeah, just immediately. Just start invading everybody. And, by the way, that is to Vietnam, somebody was like.
Speaker 1:And Korea, just immediately just start invading everybody and, by the way, that is historically accurate on timeline.
Speaker 2:If anybody wants to know.
Speaker 1:We were in Vietnam in like the fucking 40s dude. That's crazy, I mean, I think that's another thing is like we don't find out. We're just now finding out what the CIA was doing. So then when you talk to people from other countries, they hate us so much. They're like dude, you have been fucking with our country for so long and we're like what?
Speaker 2:What country? I've never even heard of your country. And then you talk to their women. They're like oh, we love America.
Speaker 1:Every video I see, dude, I watch all these videos where it's just like they'll be in just some other country.
Speaker 2:every video I see, dude, I watch all these videos where it's just like they'll be in just some other country and they're just like would you date a foreigner, what would you?
Speaker 1:like what would you like?
Speaker 2:and they're like American man and then they see what an American man is, and now they're like never mind yeah, yeah, yeah, it's because American man propaganda the CIA's like main propaganda was just like.
Speaker 1:One of their big tricks was dropping giant condoms dude.
Speaker 2:I literally, I literally. That's what those women I was I. I said that fact yesterday in a car to people that did not care about what I was literally.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll be. I'll be. I'll be the person in the car that you're talking to. I'll be your girlfriend, like dude, literally I was like.
Speaker 2:You do know that sometimes the united states, uh, has dropped giant condoms to make people think that we have bigger dicks, right Boom.
Speaker 1:Exactly it. Do you want to go to Chick-fil-A?
Speaker 2:That's literally exactly what happened.
Speaker 1:It's so funny. I have a conversation, I have a girlfriend, we're talking dude.
Speaker 2:My brain has been so locked onto it. I was in the car and just discussing politics for 50 minutes and then, at minute 51, I realized that no one else had talked for 40 minutes.
Speaker 1:I was just gonna say it's not my girlfriend's fault I'm just ranting at her autistically, just like staring into the side of her ear hole, being like you know, she fucking, she fucking lied right. You know that she also said that the election got stolen. Okay, it's not, it's.
Speaker 2:Both sides have said it and I said, and I said, and it would be like I would speak for 10 minutes, have uh one person uh say, oh really, what about? And then just continually getting me to speak you were still doing young republican face yeah, young republican is talking about left-wing issues well, I mean so when you did?
Speaker 1:uh, when did those we were talking about how Republicans are happier? I was watching some poll, watching some poll. What a fucking idiot.
Speaker 2:I read yeah, I can't read.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was watching polls, somebody held a poll up and I read it and I saw I was watching this poll.
Speaker 2:Is this what you call gay porn? I was watching the polls last night. I was watching this poll. Is this what you call gay porn? I was watching the polls last night. I was watching the poll.
Speaker 1:I was watching polls and stroking my pole, so it was fucking. It was some about how, like, who's the happiest group of people in the country, and like by far the unhappiest people are like liberals and atheists. And like if you combine those two, I mean you are, yeah, days away from suicide. But like if you're just, you know, christian and fucking republican dude all the all the questions are answered.
Speaker 2:They're all the. We don't have to ask my family. All the questions have been answered for my family it's. Their lives alternate between two feelings complete and absolute joy and happiness, and then fear yeah, and the fear pushes them back to happiness. It's a beautiful vicious circle yeah, it is, oh, they're gonna. What are we gonna?
Speaker 1:do about immigrants?
Speaker 2:I'll build the wall.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank god, yeah, 100 it's also so funny, how people were like um, I'm definitely someone that's like.
Speaker 2:It's like yeah, trump said he was gonna build the wall and he did like 40 miles. You know what I mean. Like it's like he didn't do anything yeah but then at the same time it's like as a guy that lives in arlington in the dc area, I'm like dog. They've been working on columbia pike for 19 years 395.
Speaker 1:They've been doing 395 my entire life, so I don't know when you think this wall is going to get done, but there was no reasonable timeline for this. There's no way he's going to crank it up for years. You just don't know how government works, brother. I've been living. My mom said that right as it happened.
Speaker 2:She's like you know how long they've been working on 395? My entire life, dude. The same piece of road has been ripped up again. It sucks, yeah Well a lot of times.
Speaker 1:my brother's a pipe. He works for Fairfax Water and so he like works on the pipes underneath there. Dude, I'll go out and visit him in like job sites and shit. Dude, it's fucking crazy that underneath like every road are like these giant, like boxes, like yeah I don't think people understand how like everything that's like running around this, how complicated and sick it is.
Speaker 1:So they have, like these boxes that go underneath the road where the pipes are and so, like they, they have like certain sections where you just go down and you have to like drill down that like constantly to go get it, and then, like some of our pipes like the pipes in Fairfax they still have pipes Like they'll lay the pipes down the new pipes but they leave the old pipes in there, cause it'd take too long to rip it out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, the pipes from like the early like 20th century to like late 19th century are giant Oak trees to like late 19th century, are giant oak trees, so they just had like wooden pipes to get the water through and it worked like it worked. They had fucking wooden pipes underneath the road.
Speaker 2:That's really cool, I didn't know that that rocks unbelievable dude, and it was just like.
Speaker 1:It's not as efficient because, like it's like, obviously it absorbs water, it's still cool, but I mean the fact they did it.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty, it's pretty sick.
Speaker 1:But now you can't even tell anybody that, because they'll be like well, they used slaves to do it and it's like god damn it, dude, I wasn't talking about that.
Speaker 2:I'm talking about how cool wooden pipes are. I'm talking about how sick they are.
Speaker 1:I tried to talk about Thomas Jefferson on stage, like two weeks ago, and just some woman yells from the back like we don't fucking like that beat. I was like oh no, that's not, that's not what I wanted to do, but it'll come back around.
Speaker 2:They always come back around yeah, I mean, I think we'll be fine, I think no matter people hated andrew jackson.
Speaker 1:I feel like andrew jackson's making a comeback. I still like andrew dude I keep telling myself.
Speaker 2:I was like it's gonna no matter what happens, it's gonna be okay I have to just tell myself that, and even if it's wrong it's wrong brother. Yeah, I did honestly, I'm so glad I'm still religious, because I literally am like there's nothing. Yeah like, even though I don't go to church or whatever, it's like I still got it and I'm like, oh, he's gonna take care of me, brother it's gonna be good it's so.
Speaker 2:I sleep so good at night because of it, the comeback around from like, because I think every like adult should at some point.
Speaker 1:You should grow up religious and then you should question your faith a little bit in your 20s. You know, read get like real fucking confident in yourself, maybe go a little atheist days, dude, that moment of coming back to christ, there is nothing better, dude I had like a like a spiritual like, fucking like. It was like laying my head on a pillow when it was like, oh yeah, I remember that guy. And then when you start to like really put it together, and you look at like phil, like really like think about it like well, no, this philosophy actually makes more sense than all of the other ones afterwards.
Speaker 1:All the other ones are just talking shit about this one original one. Oh man, does that feel good?
Speaker 2:I look at atheists.
Speaker 1:I'm like you, poor bastard dude.
Speaker 2:I feel that I felt that way forever, where you're just like because I've always been, but then you know you do have doubts, and then you go through it and then mine literally was like the doubt, like, uh, I got to the point where, like I'm, I'm definitely someone that's like, this is my personal thing, this is for this is a and it's just. I was like there's just a period I was like, oh, I haven't really slept good since I quit belief.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like maybe I need to. I need to sleep better, so I think I'm gonna go back. Yeah, and then you go. You know you get a little too into it. You know I start listening to like fucking gregorian chants and latin mass and I'm like you know what dude it is fucked up.
Speaker 2:What's?
Speaker 1:happening in israel. Maybe we need to give it back to the original people, which are the fucking catholics let's go back.
Speaker 2:You had a pretty heavy catholic house for a minute with you and, oh, with me and joe, yeah I mean we and mike my curts was also catholic, but then actually it's always been.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we've never let anyone who's not a catholic live here I gotta find out about mike scott and I will baptize him in the middle of the night, my mom used to do that. My mom used to sneak, baptize people all the time, like my's hilarious. My nephew wasn't baptized, so just like if anyone was sleeping around the house when he was a baby, he was sleeping in the house she went in and fucking baptized him real quick. Dude, if you fall asleep around my mom, she will fucking baptize you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're getting into heaven, whether you like it or not. I baptized my girlfriend. She's not.
Speaker 1:Catholic and I was just fucking. In the name of the Father. In the name of the father, do you fall asleep around me, dude? I'm baptizing you, which is like Islam is like. All you have to do to become Muslim is you have to say that you want to become Muslim. You have to like promise I forget what it is, but there's like a little prayer that like, if you just like accept Allah, you have to personally choose it. And now you're Muslim Catholicism. It's like, nah, we'll get you while you're sleeping.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter if you want to or not. You're Catholic. Now We'll sneak you. Dude, are you going to watch that new Pope movie Calvary? Or whatever where it's based on a book and it's like fiction, but the story's like Pope dies and while they pick a new pope, yeah apparently the ending. Uh, I'm not gonna spoil it for you because I think it's thing to watch, uh, but apparently it's best for myself because I'm a protestant I don't give a fuck, but like, get out, do the ending.
Speaker 2:Do the ending like I, I goes, does text and joe about it. And he dropped the ending in the chat and then, like I, I thought when he said the ending, I was like that's such a good bit and then I went, looked it up and I was was like there's no way. This is the ending of that movie?
Speaker 1:Oh, just tell me, dude, I love movies, but it's just like Dude.
Speaker 2:Literally it's a whole thing about how do these spoiler alert for anyone out there. Stop listening to this, because this movie literally came out.
Speaker 1:We do have a lot of militant Catholics that listen to this episode.
Speaker 2:This movie came out like three days ago but the whole premise of the movie is like a pope dies and there's a group of cardinals that have to have a vote and there's all this backstabbing like oh, this person's bribing other cardinals blah, blah and then they finally pick this person.
Speaker 2:At the end you find out that it was like the person's trans, oh, or like, not true, they're like they're, they're uh, they're born with their intersex yeah, both parts and they got sent for a gender reassignment thing and they have to make a decision to be. We have to keep it quiet and I read it being like honestly, as a guy that is not Catholic, I would watch this and be like oh man, I didn't see that twist coming. That's a pretty good I got school.
Speaker 2:And then, literally in my brain, I'm like oh man, I'm thinking about all the hardcore. Catholic people that just went to see a Catholic the conspiracy movie and then they get hit with that and they're just like what the fuck yeah?
Speaker 1:that I'll be. I'll be honest with you, winston all that I started seeing was red about two minutes the moment you dropped trans, I was like I gotta find out where this director is, because it's, I think it's again because it's because joe joe texted.
Speaker 2:He was like he's. I was like what's the the twist? And joe goes. Oh yeah, the, the new pope has a, has a vagina and a dick, and I was like I was like I was like oh, what a god. I was like what a funny bit. And I looked it up and that's just word for word from the wikipedia entry.
Speaker 1:I wonder where the vagina is. It's just under his armpit. I always thought that'd be funny. It's like we're getting to a point where it's like not only is everybody trans, like now we're gonna just start installing vaginas anywhere you get like two of them under your armpits.
Speaker 2:We're putting them under the roads, making them wood. Making them out of wood.
Speaker 1:What would be really funny is if my brother completely made that up Just to fuck with me.
Speaker 2:The whole process, not trans but intersex pope, and they apparently sent the pope out to have a gender reassignment. Doesn't do it. And so the new pope just has a dick and a pussy.
Speaker 1:And that rocks. I think that's awesome dude. Yeah, that really pisses me off. I love it, dude. I got to assume that movie was made by some dumb, fucking Protestant dude. I mean just to piss me off.
Speaker 2:Actually the pope wrote it, Y'all's.
Speaker 1:Actually the Pope wrote it, Our new liberal Pope has been pissing a lot of people off. Dude, I actually stopped Dude. He outlawed Latin Mass, so his thing is that he's outlawing Latin Mass, which I don't know if people know this, but this is a big conspiracy and I'll be cognizant of your time.
Speaker 2:No, it's fine. I think it's funny because you say that and then anyone that doesn't understand, like latin mass. They're just like copying up that jesus. It's not hispanic mass, it's about jesus home. Yeah, it's not latino mass. This is latin mass no, that's actually every mass here yeah, there is no english speaking mass anymore.
Speaker 1:It's either latino mass or it's Latin mass, but so, like there's this group of people I think it's called Opus Dei who is like very militant, like anti, not anti. Pope John Paul II, who was like pretty liberalized, yeah, anti. Pope Paul VI, yeah, who was like a slight liberalization. That's so funny Of like the 1960s I forget what that was, I think it was vatican one where they like said hey, you can do mass in english now.
Speaker 1:and there was a group that immediately was like that's too fucking liberal for me, dude, we're keeping the veils on, we're not looking at the priest like that's fucking bullshit and uh, so there's been like this, this, that group opus day like also is pretty powerful because, like anton scalia was opus day and then he converted clarence thomas and then no one you know if you won't fucking look into it. Uh, all of trump's uh nominees are all going to latin mass. Okay, coney barrett, fucking uh, what's his?
Speaker 1:name from georgetown, prep cavanaugh. He's fucking opus day, so like all of them were opus day too. So now you have, like I think it's six or five supreme court justices who are going to full-blown latin mass and are like strong conservative catholic values, like forget us yeah, us conservative. No, it's like catholic we're talking like no dude they are. We answer to the pope, not the president, like everything that everyone always feared about catholics and not letting them into higher office we're absolutely doing again.
Speaker 1:We're just like, yeah, the pope is in charge, not the president. It makes them so mad, dude. But now our new liberal pope is fucking getting rid of latin mass and uh, there's this little church in arlington that I go to that. They, uh, they, full-blown in arlington that I go to that. They, uh, they full-blown like are rejecting the pope's offer and they're like, if they kick us out, they kick us out.
Speaker 1:So I go to latin mass there and they, they sing it first of all, like mass is like 45 minutes in english, latin mass singing it is like two and a half hours yeah, dude no one speaks english.
Speaker 1:it's one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen, because Because, like, the worst part about Mass is then the priest a guy you like, barely respect goes up and then gives you his opinion on the Bible. And it's like, dude, just be quiet. Just like fucking chant it in Latin, like I don't want to hear your interpretation of it, I've been to Mass like twice in my life and both times I went I was like oh, this shit sucks yeah, yeah, wait, wait.
Speaker 1:Did you lie? If you didn't like, that doesn't regular mass being like. Oh, these people suck I don't like all these little chants, all y'all we have, we don't.
Speaker 2:Even our hymns are all different. It's so nuts to just be like. It's like going because it's the same genre but it's so different.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:It's like metal and then southern rock.
Speaker 1:You guys are just having a good time, do we not have a good time?
Speaker 2:No, dude, it's like having a good time, and then you might get a little fire brimstone.
Speaker 1:Are you like an acoustic Christian or is it like the people are wearing khakis? They're doing little claps when they sing and stuff. No, hell, no.
Speaker 2:It's like we're Baptist but it's Southern Baptist, and so it's like you have just a piano and you've got the choir, and then, when the kids would do stuff, that's when you know what I mean. You might, and every Sunday in church normally it's just people singing.
Speaker 1:It's not the evangelical those are fun to go to. I'll be honest with you those are pretty fun to go to. Those are pretty fun.
Speaker 2:I dated a girl who was at a church and it was a good time, dude megachurches are sick and then you go for a month and you're like they're stealing so much money.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes, they're embezzling. That guy got into a big scandal. Yeah, dude, you're like this, feels like Ozark, because I mean you get there and like the fucking, it's like a stadium, dude, I mean it's an arena, dude, and it's this guy in khakis they have like snack bars and coffee. They're like fucking giving. They have snack bars.
Speaker 2:They're literally selling concessions when you walk in.
Speaker 1:you can buy a fucking hot dog and I'm coming from like a pretty hardcore Catholic background and I'm like this needs to stop.
Speaker 2:Whatever, this is needs to end right now. The megachurches are just like well. People aren't going to get to see the game so we've got to make them feel like they're at the game.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and we've got to do it early so they can go back and watch the Lurs. It was up in Pennsylvania, dude, the thing I've been talking about.
Speaker 1:I've tried a couple times lately not to run a bit or think the reason I quit going to church is it's just, it's too intense for eight in the morning, like that's the whole vibe, because, dude, you'll be waking up and then at 8 30 they're just like they fucking killed him. Man, fucking jews killed him. And at 8 30 you're still kind of sleepy so you'll kind of believe whatever they said out of your eyes.
Speaker 2:You're like I guess the jews killed it's just so intense for 8 fucking 30 in the morning. Who killed him? Oh shit, fuck shit.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I don't like him either that is how you trick people into being pretty anti-semitic ah shit, that's hilarious, just getting the eye crusties out. Yeah, they nailed him to a tree a tree. That's crazy man. They nailed him to a tree A tree.
Speaker 2:That's crazy man. They nailed him to the tree. Yeah, I don't like them at all. Oh, that sucks.
Speaker 1:But we should give them a country. Wait, why are we giving them a country? Oh, whatever. Oh, so they'll start a nuclear war and bring back God. Okay, cool Dude. Did you see the thing?
Speaker 2:the fucking French president said about Israel the thing the fucking French president said about. Israel Dog. When I tell you right now I don't know what he meant to say, but he was talking about Netanyahu and he literally goes. I think Netanyahu should remember that he's like without us and the United Nations or NATO, he's like there wouldn't be an Israel. He's like, I think, he should remember who built it for them.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's kind of like revealing the jack in the box, I know, but it's so crazy.
Speaker 2:But that's the most like G thing I've ever heard someone say. But it's just like you should remember who the fuck put you on this planet.
Speaker 1:Well, the French have never liked the jews like that they, like you know, they have a long complicated history with the jews, so every now and then the jews will get a little chirpy and they're like, hey, we've done nothing but help and we don't like that we've helped, okay, so fuck off yeah I read that it was like it hasn't turned out. Good for us helping you guys, we'll say that okay yeah, that's, that's fucking. That's funny. No, I like um, but if you do get, I thought you would have been.
Speaker 2:No, no, I like the jews. I felt like you felt so bad about what you've been saying.
Speaker 1:I was like, yeah, we do no, no, I still think you should give israel back to the catholics. Yeah, that's so funny.
Speaker 2:It's like you're like you're, you're like I don't believe in. No, it's like free Palestine, give them to Italy. Yeah, exactly, it belongs to Rome, to the.
Speaker 1:Vatican City. Look into it. Okay, last time all that shit worked and everybody got to walk about freely. We were in charge. That's so funny, put a cross over top of that shit. I'm sick of fucking around, but, dude, the Latin mass mass, I gotta take you to it because you gotta see it. Dude, it's the last conservative white people that you'll see.
Speaker 2:That are just truly if there's an ethos of conservatism, it's a different level, it's a different level.
Speaker 1:Every single woman is in a full-blown hijab like.
Speaker 2:I mean they are in like lace hijabs all of them have nine kids.
Speaker 1:Like I mean, the kids are fucking well behaved I mean, no one is fucking around. I thought, I got in the time machine, I walked in there and I'm just like I'm fucking kind of like laugh, like giggling a little bit. Then I'm like maybe I shouldn't giggle, I shouldn't have fun here it was fucking nuts that's so funny yeah, it was. It was pretty cool. But yeah, give israel back to the catholics. I think that's it. What a wild, what a wild take like I'm like that is not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that does not represent the views of winston, I just comedy incorporated.
Speaker 1:Maybe not winston, I just comedy. But hey guys me absolutely.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, dude yeah thanks for joining me, dude. Thanks for having me, bro. I'm so glad we could finally do this yeah, I hope you had a good time yeah, this was fun yeah, so we got started late.
Speaker 1:Anyways, everybody go check out. You want to plug anything?
Speaker 2:yeah, just look up Winston Hodges comedy. That's it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll put his website in the bio, and this is how we're probably going to start doing. The episodes is with guests. We'll put your website in the bio and then it's got dates and shit, just fucking.
Speaker 2:you know I'll release them with the episode.
Speaker 1:I think this comes out in three weeks.
Speaker 2:Sick dude, Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1:Perfect, all right guys. Bye Black helicopters. Yeah, and it's going to be true.